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♥Manda ♥

[ website | Razorblade Kisses From Venomous Lips ]
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(no subject) [Apr. 8th, 2008|09:09 pm]
♥Manda ♥
Comment on this entry, and I will:
1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, a word etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your LJ.
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Sam [Jan. 2nd, 2007|09:07 pm]
♥Manda ♥
I feel like he doesnt love me as much as he use to.......like its all fading away...a little at a time....i canht stop it...i have no control.....all the hugs and kisses are gone...he never says i love you...it alol just gone like nothing matters to him any more what am i suppose tyo do about that am i just suppose to sit here and watch the world pass by or am i suppose to let him go
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(no subject) [Dec. 25th, 2005|09:59 pm]
♥Manda ♥
~January~
1. Did you have a new year's resolution this year?:nah
2. Who kissed you at midnight?: no one
3. Does it snow where you live?: Yeah
4. Do you like hot chocolate?: Yup
5.Have you ever been to times square to watch the ball drop? No

~February~
1. Who was your valentine in 2005?: i had that big thing for maurice then
2. What did your valentine get you?:nuffin
3. When you were little, did you buy valentines for your whole class? : yup
4. Who have you done a project on for Black History Month? noone
5. Do you care if the ground hog sees its shadow or not? no
~March~
1. Are you Irish?: yes
2. Do you wear green on St. Patty's Day?: yes
3. What did you do for St. Patty's Day in 2005?: i marched in the parade with the band
4. Are you happy when Winter is pretty much over? hell yes

~April~
1. Do you like the rain?:yes
2. Did you play an April fool's joke on anyone this year?:yup
3. Do you get tons of candy on easter?: yes
4. Do you celebrate 4-20?:no

~May~
1. What's your favorite kind of flower?:daisies and orchid lillies
2. Do you like the spring?: yes
3. Finish the phrase: April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?:romance
4. What is the first spring color that comes to mind?: yellow

~June~
1. What year did (or are) you graduate from school?: 07
2. Did you go on any vacations last June?: yup....to band camp
3. Did you realize nothing special happens in June?:yes

~July~
1. What did you do on the 4th of July?:nothing
2. Did you go on any vacations during this month?: no
3. Did you Blast the A/C all day?: yup

~August~
1. Did you do anything special to end off your summer?:i moved to illinios
2. What was your favorite summer memory of '05?:maurice's birthday and band camp
3. Do you go swimming a lot in the summer?:not really
4. Do you go to the beach a lot?: no

~September~
1. Did you attend school/college in '05?: yes
2. Who is/was your favorite teacher?: mr.hale
3. Do you like fall better than summer?: yes
~October~
1. What was your favorite halloween costume ever?:i dunno
2. what's your favorite candy?: Almond Joys
3. what did you dress up like this year?: i had work

~November~
1. Whose house do you usually go to for thanksgiving?:my grammas
2. Do you love stuffing?: no
3. What are you thankful for?:the people who care about me

~December~
1. Do you celebrate Christmas?: yes
2. Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe?:no
3. What do you want this year for Christmas?: my friends from indy
4. What's the best present you ever got for Christmas?: not sure
5. Do you like cold weather?: no

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? had sex

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?no and no

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?yes


4. Did anyone close to you die? yes


5. What countries did you visit?none


6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? stable love


7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory and why?march 30th....april 18th....july 6th


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? telling my om she was wrong


9. What was your biggest failure?leaving all the people i love because i left


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes

11. UM...i lost it...

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
abigail


13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
maurice

14. Where did most of your money go?
clothes


15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
finding someone who loved me back.


16. What song reminded you of 2005?let me love you


17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? thinner
c) richer or poorer? richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
spoke how i felt


19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
spend time with maurice...he wasnt worth it


20. How will you be spending Christmas?with my uncle


21. What was your favorite month of 2005?april

22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
twice

23. How many one-night stands?one...but it involved two people other than myself


24. What was your favourite TV program?
family guy


25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
maurice


26. What was the best book you read?
memoirs of a geisha


27. What was your greatest musical discovery?cello players are good listeners


28. What did you want and get? a few friends


29. What did you want and not get?i'm not sure


30. What was your favorite film of this year? the amityville horror and napoleon dynamite


31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? nothing...i drank alot of tequila and called someone..i turned 17


32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? if i hadnt wasted so much time


33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?unique


34. What kept you sane?dede


35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?blah


36. What political issue stirred you the most?blah


37. Who did you miss?
abby and steph and jesslynn

38. Who was the best new person you met?
dede

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005. you might think you are going to spend your life with someone but it probably wont happen


40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"i hate everything about you, so why do i love you"


41. What was unique about 2005?i grew up alot


42. How have you changed in 2005?yeah


43. One word to sum up the year?dramatic


In the past week did you...
*Have sex: yeah
*Make out: yeah
*Sleep with someone: yeah
*Travel: no
*Watch a movie in theaters: no
*Watch a movie at home: yeah
*Take a picture:yeah
*Experience anything big changes in life: no
*Go to church:no

Facts:
*Pet peeves: lint and untied shoes
*shoe size: 7 1/2
*Things you dread: loss and separation
*Things you anticipate: love
*contacts or glasses: contacts
*Eye color: brown
*hair color: red

Current:
*Current location: uncles house...rockford,il
*current annoyance: my family
*current thing to be happy about: goin to see my mom
*current taste in mouth: spit
*current sounds around you:hot shots
*current clothes: jeans and a hoodie

Favorites:
*favorite junk food: salt and vinegar lays potato chips
*favorite fruit:pears and peaches
*favorite drink: red faygo
*favorite holiday: halloween
*favorite football team:tampa bay
*favorite baseball team:yankees
*favorite basketball team: lakers

Will you:
*Get married: yes
*Have kids: yes
*go to/graduate college: yes
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(no subject) [Jul. 31st, 2005|03:21 pm]
♥Manda ♥
amandamarierose's Word Usage
1. you (397) 26. on (47) 51. now (25) 76. want (18)
2. i (290) 27. yes (45) 52. heart (25) 77. back (18)
3. the (220) 28. are (44) 53. someone (25) 78. will (17)
4. to (188) 29. no (43) 54. think (24) 79. favorite (17)
5. a (185) 30. with (41) 55. her (24) 80. people (17)
6. and (132) 31. yeah (40) 56. never (23) 81. go (17)
7. in (115) 32. if (38) 57. were (23) 82. myself (17)
8. your (101) 33. i'm (37) 58. see (23) 83. which (17)
9. of (94) 34. but (35) 59. know (22) 84. it's (17)
10. my (83) 35. just (35) 60. out (22) 85. from (17)
11. have (75) 36. so (32) 61. more (22) 86. this (17)
12. do (75) 37. was (32) 62. day (21) 87. still (16)
13. it (75) 38. at (31) 63. way (21) 88. friends (16)
14. that (74) 39. about (31) 64. things (20) 89. could (16)
15. is (72) 40. she (30) 65. right (20) 90. get (16)
16. or (67) 41. would (29) 66. who (20) 91. because (16)
17. for (67) 42. how (29) 67. three (20) 92. manda (16)
18. me (65) 43. as (29) 68. smile (20) 93. can (15)
19. what (57) 44. one (29) 69. had (20) 94. make (15)
20. like (54) 45. all (28) 70. we (19) 95. them (15)
21. when (51) 46. 3 (28) 71. than (19) 96. said (15)
22. not (51) 47. 1 (26) 72. him (19) 97. did (15)
23. love (50) 48. up (26) 73. you're (19) 98. much (14)
24. be (48) 49. always (25) 74. most (19) 99. there (14)
25. ever (47) 50. 2 (25) 75. by (18) 100. even (14)
Username:
Word Count by Hutta.
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Fallen Angels-Ra [Jul. 30th, 2005|11:56 am]
♥Manda ♥
[You Make Me Feel |lonelylonely]

My eyes don't see the obvious
It's way too far to go
Forget about the rest of me
There's nothing left to know

I see fallen angels
When I try to go to sleep
And they're always watching
I see fallen angels
As I'm walking in the streets
Silently preparing
For what they'll do to me

You see, I'm kinda paranoid
My luck, it seems to have run out
So I will point the finger now
Beyond the shadow of a doubt

I see fallen angels
When I try to go to sleep
And they're always watching
I see fallen angels
As I'm walking in the streets
Silently preparing
For what they'll do to me

I see fallen angels
When I try to go to sleep
And they're always watching
I see fallen angels
As I'm walking in the streets
Silently preparing

I see fallen angels
When I try to go to sleep
(I see fallen angeeeeeels)
And they're always watching
I see fallen angels
As I'm walking in the streets
(I see fallen angeeeeeels)
Silently preparing
For what they'll do to me
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(no subject) [Jul. 28th, 2005|12:47 pm]
♥Manda ♥
[You Make Me Feel |excitedexcited]
[My Suicide Note Reads |Go gadget-Youngstown]

Childhood Weirdness

Did you spend your childhood time with mostly real or imaginary friends?: real

Did people consider you an odd child?: Yes.

Do you have memories that go back to when you were only a few months old?: No

Do you remember any thoughts you had when you where very young?: Yes.

If you answered "yes," give an example of one of those thoughts: i remember thinking boobs were called "memory glands"
Were your dreams very vivid as a child?: Yes

What is the strangest memory you have from early childhood?: hmmm....i'm not sure
Were you a child prodigy or did you display any gifts at a young age?: Perhaps. i learned to write at age 2....learned to read at 4

What was the most "grown-up" thing you ever said as a child?: Your exuberance astounds me.

What were your favorite TV shows in early childhood: rainbow bright
Were you afraid of monsters?: no...but my mom always told me that if i was a bad kid someone would come and steal me in my sleep...so i was afraid of strangers.
Did you believe that fictional characters were real?: No.

Were you more quiet and artistic or loud and physical?: more quiet and artistic

Do you eat meat?: Yes

If you do, what is your justification for it?: It tastes good.

If you could legalize 3 things in the US, what would they be?: i think everything is okay
Do you believe in the death penalty?: Yes.

If you had a choice, which country would you have chosen to be born into?: Ireland

Describe your feelings about marijuana legalization:i think it should be left the way it is.
What about gay marriage?: whatever the people want.....i believe in happiness
Red, White and Blue is a ghastly color combination, right?: yeah....red is awesome by itself.
What television news coverage do you detest the most?: Fox News.

Which state do you think will drop off into the ocean first?: florida

Who do you consider "American Heroes"?: Stephen King, and Tim Burton.

Completely Obtuse And Silly Questions

Have you ever taken something apart just to see how it worked? Yeah

Do you ever yell at the television while you are alone? i yell at it when people are around too.

Name a few things (if any) that you bought on Ebay recently:
Are the Muppets sinister? muppets are cool.

Do you watch the Science Channel (Discovery) on a regular basis?: Yep.

Ever gotten into an "in person" argument with a total stranger? I don’t think so.

Sugar or Honey?: Sugar.

How many e-mails do you receive a day?: 40
Do you think that time travel is a possibility?: No.

Have you ever had a past life regression?: Sure.

San Francisco or New York City?: New York City.

Are you slightly addicted to online tests and surveys?: yes

Close your eyes and type the first random image that pops into your head: DeAndrew

If you could choose a time period in which to live, which would it be? now is fine
Emotions And Such

Have you attempted suicide more than once?: yup

Cutting?: yes...unfortunately still a problem
Do you get violent when you are angry?: yes.

Which emotion are you most consumed by?:loneliness and love
Are you highly emotive?: yeah

Do you discuss problems or keep them to yourself?: I keep them to myself.

Do you fall in love easily?: not anymore....one person fucked that up very royally for me

What age/year was the most difficult for you?: last year
How do you channel your anger/sadness?: writing and cutting

List a few simple things that make you happy: Music, friends, , waterfalls, stargazing, flip flops, Dede, layin around

When were you most recently your happiest?: april 2005
Friends

Describe your best friend as if you were describing a character from a film: No.

Do you have friends that are drastically different from each other?: yeah
List a few key traits that all of your friends have in common: humor....all my friends are beautiful in they're own way...most of them are musical in some way
Have you ever been betrayed by a close friend?: Yes.

If yes, are you still friends with that person?: yes

Are your friends mostly your age, younger or older?: older and my age
Family

Are you close to your family?: no...to be honest i hate my family and my family hates me

What traits are you glad you inherited from them?: my lips and eyes

Which traits are you pissed off you inherited from them?: eh

What sitcom does your family most remind you of?: the osbournes

Does your family live locally or far away?: locally

Have you ever stopped speaking to someone in your family?: yes...piper
Have either of your parents died?: Nope.

Is your family very much like you or are you opposites?: i'm nothing like my family
How many siblings do you have?: 1 brother,4 sisters

Has your family ever thrown food at each other?: No.

Are the holidays a nightmare or a time of joy?: nightmare

Do you look like your parents?: yes

List one interesting fact about your family:
Lovers

Gay, Straight, Bi-sexual or no idea?: Straight.

Married/partnered?: partnered

Ever gone out with someone you were embarrassed to be seen with?: Yes.

Ever broken someone’s heart?: yes

How many serious relationships have you had?: 2

Do you believe in monogamy?: Yes.

Do you believe in the theory of soulmates?:yes...but you dont always get to keep your soulmate....people change

Ever cheated?: Yes

Been cheated on?: Yes.

Most important emotional qualities of a lover?:love

Would You Rather...

Eat a steak or a whole tube of toothpaste?: Steak.

Be covered in papercuts or cigarette burns?: cuts

Be perceived as intelligent or street-smart (but not both)?: Intelligent

Eat a bottle cap or a spider the size of a bottle cap?: cap

Be ruled exclusively by your heart or your mind?:Heart

Have the power to read minds or make anyone fall in love with you? love
Chew shards of broken glass or sit on a lighted barbecue grill?: grill
Be able to fly or be able to render yourself invisible?: Invisible!

Have questionable integrity or no sense of humor?: Questionable integrity. Humor is one of the most important things in life.

Granted the answers to any 3 questions or ability to resurrect one person?: I'd take the answers.

Final Questions

Ever had a great song ruined for you after it was used in a commercial?: no
Ever yelled at an SUV?: Yes.

A Hummer?: no

If you could turn back time and change one thing, what would it be?: Ever fallin in love with garrett...i'm not saying it was a mistake...it was just painful
Bambi or Nemo?: Nemo

How long have you been on livejounal?: awhile

Do you find it to be a fulfilling experience?: Yep
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78 [Jul. 21st, 2005|06:43 am]
♥Manda ♥
[You Make Me Feel |lonelylonely]
[My Suicide Note Reads |always blink 182]

1.smoked a cigarette - yeah

2.smoked a cigar - nope

3.made out with a member of the same sex -
4.crashed a friend's car - Nope

5.stolen a car - nope

6.been in love - i am right now :)

7.been dumped - yup

8.shoplifted - yup

9.been fired - Never

10.been in a fist fight - yes

11.snuck out of your house - yes

12.had feelings for someone who didnt have them back - frequently

13.been arrested - a couple times

14.made out with a stranger - yeah

15.gone on a blind date - nope

16.lied to a friend - yes

17.had a crush on a teacher - nope

18.skipped school - yes

19.slept with a co-worker - nope

20.seen someone die - yes...unfortunately

21.been on a plane - yes

22.thrown up in a bar - nope
23.taken painkillers - yeah

24.love someone or miss someone right now -yes.. a hell of a lot

25.laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by - yup
26.made a snow angel - yup

27.played dress up - yes
28.cheated while playing a game - yeah
29.been lonely - all the damn time

30.fallen asleep at work/school - yup

31.used a fake id - nope

32.felt an earthquake - no.

33.touched a snake - i hate snakes...cept for abby's though...that's one hot snake

34.ran a red light - no

35.been suspended from school - yup
36.had detention - yes
37.been in a car accident - yeah.

38.hated the way you look - all the time
39.witnessed a crime - yea

40.pole danced - not really

41.been lost - yea
42.been to the opposite side of the country - yeah
43.felt like dying - constantly

44.cried yourself to sleep - that is also a constant

45.played cops and robbers - with my sister
46.sang karaoke - yes

47.done something you told yourself you wouldn't - yeah
48.laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose - organge soda burns like hell
49.caught a snowflake on your tongue - *yeah

50.kissed in the rain - yup
51.sing in the shower - hell yea

52.made love in a park - kinda....out in the woods by a waterfall thing....about a mile from school

53.had a dream that you married someone - yea

54. glued your hand to something - yup
55. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole - no...but i did get my head stuck inside the freezer

56.worn the opposite sex's clothes - not really
57.been a cheerleader - two years...4 and 5th grade

58. sat on a roof top - yes

59. didn't take a shower for a week - no.

60.ever to scared to watch scary movies alone - yeah
61.played chicken - yeah

62.been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on - yeah
63.been told you're hot by a complete stranger - yes

64.broken a bone - several

65.been easily amused - yup

66.laugh so hard you cry - yes

67.mooned/flashed someone - oh....shut up

68.cheated on a test - Yeah.

69.forgotten someone's name - yes

70.slept naked -yeah

71.gone skinny dipping in a pool - no

72.been kicked out of your house - yes

73.blacked out from drinking - yeah

74.played a prank on someone - oh yeah

75.gone to a late night movie - yeah

76.made love to anything not human - ewww...no

77.failed a class - yup

78.choaked on something you're not supposed to eat - yup
79.played an instrument for more than 10 hours - nope
80.cheated on a gf/bf - yeah

81.ate a whole package of oreos - no

82.thrown strange objects - yes

83.felt like killing someone - yup

84.thought about running away -hell yeah

85.ran away -yes

86.did drugs - more than i would like to admit
87.had detention and not attend it - yeah

88.yelled at parents - yea
89.made parent cry - yes

90.cried over someone - Yes

91.owned more than 5 sharpies - yeah

92.dated more than 1 person at once - i really dont wanna answer that

93.have a dog - no

94.have a cat - 4...so yes

95.own an instrument - flute and a bass guitar now
96.been in a band - caustic heart baby....and school band

97.had more than 25 sodas in one day - dont think so

98.broken a cd - yup

99.shot a gun - yeah

100.been on live journal for more than 5 hours - prolly
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(no subject) [Mar. 3rd, 2005|10:25 pm]
♥Manda ♥
HASH(0x88e0eb0)
WHITE


??Which colour of Death is yours??
brought to you by Quizilla
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(no subject) [Mar. 1st, 2005|09:23 pm]
♥Manda ♥
[You Make Me Feel |contemplativecontemplative]
[My Suicide Note Reads |Scars-Papa Roach]

Okay......i use to write short stories.....they are half autobiographical.....and most of them are romantic or involve cutting....so be careful what you read



She was new there...He happened to be a friendly face. She fell to hard to fast. here it goes.



She hadnt talked to him in a while. She wasnt sure why.maybe he was busy....Maybe it was something else. I didnt matter she still spent hours worrying about it. Passing him in the halls wanting to say something to him so bad that it almost broke her down. And when he did talk to her it was brief just enough for her to want more...For her to lust for him...To want to see him more.

Today was just one of those days she had..where the world bothered her enough to dig for safety pins in the bottom of her bag and bad enough for her to get almost sick when she couldnt find them. She had missed the bus. Gotten to school late. But she saw him in the hall on the way to class anyway...actualy made eye contact for a change. the first few hours went by as they always do...with Mrs.Harris humiliating her third hour. But lunch she dreaded lunch everyday. Because he was there....he always was..but today...She silently stoood up to grab something across the table..he brushed behind her grabbed her around the waste and stayed like that for about five secondsshe felt like she was going to explode from the inside out...he actually leaned in and whispered to her...all the feelings were overwhelming to her so she didnt hear what she said....all she had was feelings his hand an her side his warmth against her back his breath against the right side of her face...and his smell.Oh my god his smell...And just like that he was gone. She felt like she had failed yet again. Because yet again she couldnt find the words to tell him that she needed him and his touch.



Okay....thats enough for tonight...i've probly bored you to death.
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Andreas is the shit [Feb. 25th, 2005|07:29 pm]
♥Manda ♥
[You Make Me Feel |contemplativecontemplative]
[My Suicide Note Reads |Let me love you-Mario]

now i'm on display, i am becoming.
hurt myself today. it's all for you
do you like, do you like what i'm becoming?
cut myself today, it's all for you. [A.F.I]

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel [Papa Roach]

So I update this almost every single day for you
I begin to hate you for your face and not just the things you do
Go tell him how my wrist is sore
(brand new)

Well look who's dying now, slit wrists, sleeping with the girl next door
I always knew you were such a sucker for that
It doesnt matter what you say
You never mattered anyway
I never mattered anyway [underoath]

Cut my wrists and black my eyes
So I can fall asleep tonight or die
Because you kill me
You know you do, you kill me well
You like it too, and I can tell
You never stop until my final breath is gone [hawthorne heights]

Hurting me, the routine scar
New cuts cover where the old ones are
And I'm sick of this
I can't stand the sandpaper thoughts that grate on my sanity [Linkin Park]

i need to stop cutting...i need to cut my stress though....my emotions and fears are way out of hand now.....wow....i could use some help
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